Alicson—and many other in the past few days—have noted that I live in a happy place I like to call ‘Later’.

A place in which everything works perfectly…where important decisions are made with foresight and wisdom; where the times of tribulation are met compassion and a deeper understanding; and a place where I am worthy to the task. A place where I am a man. I was going to write that I am in my early 20’s so that I should be awarded some understanding for my perspective, but the truth is that I’m nearly 25 and I still fail to see that my decisions, actions and lack thereof make all the difference in the world and speak volumes about my character (or lack thereof?).

Two of the people closest to me are dying.
The person who should be closest to me above all else has been pushed away to a point that I fear to be irreversible.

And I continue to run.

Belle & Sebastian – Sleep the Clock Around
Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah
Sufjan Stevens – For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti
Joshua Radin – Winter
Tori Amos – Pretty Good Year
Josh Ritter – Good Man
The Weepies – World Spins Madly On