12minds.com

Gotta say that I’m really surprised that the lyrics haven’t been posted on here yet. The Weepies are one of my favorite bands. I often refer to them as the adorable and huggable puppies of bands because they are so sweet and soft and sappy and other adjectives that are happy and begin with the letter ‘s’. The two singers, Deb Talan and Steve Tannen, were singer/songwriters in their own rights and met at a club where Steve was singing. They started collaborating, fell in love, moved in together, married, and have an adorable baby, Theo Samuel.

Did I mention how adorable they are?

I had been a fan of Deb Talan’s since college and I found out about the Weepies maybe back in 2005 or 2006 and was struck by how much this woman’s awesome voice reminded me of Talan’s. I did my homework and I quickly downloaded everything of theirs I could get my hands on. Their 2006 album, Say I Am You is just…beautiful. Go get it from iTunes or Amazon. It’s gorgeous and happy and adorable and you’ll just want to skip to work/school and hug people and smile a lot.

The Weepies – Gotta Have You

Grey, quiet, and tired, and mean
Picking at a worried seam
I try to make you mad at me over the phone.
Red eyes and fires and signs;
I’m taken by a nursery rhyme
I want to make a ray of sunshine, and never leave home.

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, no, no, nothing else will do —
I’ve gotta have you, I’ve gotta have you.

The road gets cold
There’s no Spring in the middle this year
And I’m the new chicken — clucking open hearts and ears
Oh, such a prima donna, I’m sorry for myself
But green, it is also summer
And I won’t be warm ‘til I’m lying in your arms.

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, no, no, nothing else will do —
I’ve gotta have you, I’ve gotta have you.

I see it all through a telescope:
Guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat.
Lying in the back of the blue boat
Humming a tune.

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, no, no, nothing else will do —
I’ve gotta have you, I’ve gotta have you.

Really pretty cover of The Postal Service’s The District Sleeps Tonight:

In the understatement of the season, I’ll begin by saying that empathy is not my strong suit. I have a hard time putting myself into the shoes of others. I sometimes come off as selfish when it’s more of lack of empathy thing. It’s not so much that I care more about myself than others or that my desires have a greater weight as much as it is that — in my mind — it’s more of a “there is no one else” kind of thing. It sounds horrible, it sounds selfish, but it’s not a malicious or an “all for me” kind of thing. It’s more an inability or a lack of awareness.

If that makes any sense.

Which is why death and grief are so alien to me.

Part of it is that I rarely have to deal with it. Any deaths of family or of friends is usually at least once removed. It’s a friend of a friend, it’s a distant family member…something to that effect. And before…it wasn’t that I didn’t care as much as that it didn’t affect me. Never directly. I would recognize that someone has died, and I would see the effect that it had on another. I would see the tears but I wouldn’t understand. I’ve never understood, not really.

But it’s made me into a bad friend. A bad son, and a bad brother. I guess I don’t know if that’s a true statement because if one doesn’t know, then can one be at fault? Regardless, when friends would feel a loss, I could be there for them, but I’d be at the edges of the room. I’d have, sometimes literally, one foot out the door. I didn’t understand and I felt useless. And I wanted to run from it. I wanted to be anywhere but close to someone feeling a grief I wouldn’t understand.

And I still don’t understand the grief. I don’t understand the sense of loss that would cause the tears and depression and emptiness. I have been fortunate enough to not yet have cause to understand the vacuum. But I am trying to be that better friend, son, and brother.

That’s all I’ll say about that. That I’m trying to be there. That I realize that it’s not even about fully understanding the grief or the emptiness or the loss. That maybe it doesn’t always have to make sense to me as much as I just have to learn to have faith that sometimes just being there and holding them can be enough. If that can be the foundation, then empathy, insight, understanding, and a world full of friends and family and deep and full connections may follow.

More importantly…the realization that it’s not just about me.

Will be out of pocket this weekend.