I’ve recently come to the conclusion that during one’s fall there are three stages:

1) Denial. Nothing is wrong and everything is ok. I used to call this impulse mode. Do what feels good and fuck the consequences. Drink until you can’t drink anymore. Go home with whomever you can. Lie if you want, cheat if you want, do what you want. Destroy yourself and your life and sort out the pieces later.

2) Self-Pity. Nothing that happened was your fault. You’re a victim of fate, alcohol and denial. The key word here is victim. Of course you didn’t have control. Of course you didn’t think about the consequences. And it’s really unfair of the world to make you even think about the consequences. So might as well jump back to #1 because ‘later’ is where everything will fix itself right again. After all, if you’re a victim, then of course there isn’t anything you could have done…right?

3) The Mirror. You’ve sobered up. You realize that complaining to the heavens about your fate is actually pretty stupid and doesn’t fix anything…and since you’ve managed to destroy and tarnish just about everything else that was important and good all that you have left is…yourself. So take a good long look or jump back to #1 or 2.

It’s easier to destroy than it is to build. It’s easier to blame the heavens and fate. It’s easier to ignore. And of course it’s easy…when has anything worthwhile been easy? Easy is a cheap plastic toy. And that very word “worthwhile” really says it all, doesn’t it?

I was reading a book last night and stumbled across a passage that read:

In the interest of Truth, we owe somebody a sentence or two of warning, if you honestly have reservations.

Truth is personified and that’s how it should be, I think. You can lie and hide and cheat and avoid and drink and run, but Truth is still there…and it needs to be recognized. One has to look in the mirror and stare and consider and think. One has to dismantle the easy and replace it with a foundation that can withstand the elements.

Otherwise there can be nothing good. No growth, no evolution, no love, no faith and no hope. It’s just day in and day out and that’s just suicide…one day at a time. There is no later because there is always a later. There’s always an excuse…unless you just stop and change. Now.

Dismantle the useless, do nothing which is of no use. Rebuild with Truth, Hope, Faith and Love.

And it’s that simple. Not easy, in fact it’s difficult and it requires daily choices and thoughts and discipline and desire. Impulse plays no role in this and it requires never forgetting…never ignoring…never putting off until later. But it’s good and it’s true. And that is worth everything.

It’s always been that simple.