I dreamt last night that I was part of a team with an old friend. We worked together, we saved each other, we made new friends. We were a team. The world was ending, houses were falling into the earth, lightning was striking everywhere. The dream had all the elements of a nightmare and…it wasn’t. It was scary at times, but it was always…focused and determined. We were a team.
Last week was actually pretty awesome and I’ll be uploading pictures soon. We went to Western Maryland and spent a weekend in the woods, boating, drinking, talking and grilling. It felt like the retreats that I used to do so often back in high school and college. I really appreciated the chance to get away from things and almost…find pieces of myself once again. In the past year especially I feel like I’ve fallen apart and lost so much of myself. It’s been a time of rebuilding and I’m in not done at all but…in the past couple of weeks I’ve started to feel hopeful. Maybe just this once I won’t make the same mistakes I’ve made before. I’m not scared of falling into the same patterns and traps from before…which isn’t to say that I won’t find new ones for myself…but maybe if I surround myself with enough family, enough good friends, enough good people, enough good things…then maybe I can get by. Maybe I can see more of that person I’ve always wanted to be.