Snow Patrol – The Finish Line
The earth is warm next to my ear
Insect’s noise is all that I hear.
A magic trick makes the world disappear
The skies are dark, they’re dark but they’re clear
A distant motorcade and suddenly there’s joy
The snow and tickertape blurs all my senses numb,
It’s like the finish line where everything just ends
The crack of radios seems close enough to touch.
Cold water, cleaning my wounds;
A side parade, with a single balloon;
I’m done with this, I’m coming to town;
Blue as seas, running to them.
I feel like I am watching everything from space
And in a minute I hear my name and I wake;
I think the finish line’s a good place we could start.
Take a deep breath, take in all that you could want…
***
This song has been on repeat for the past week or so. This past week has been…difficult. Insomnia has crept back, Tests have shaken my confidence, and I feel…alone. Singular, but without a center. And without gravity or a center, there’s not too much there, is there?
This song reminds me of some moment in my imagination when everything suddenly becomes…ok. And it’s ok to sleep in someone’s arms, and it’s ok to let defenses down. And it’s ok to cry and to simply know that mountains don’t stand a chance. I started reading C.S. Lewis’ Till We Have Faces and it’s a pretty fabulous read. I’ve always liked his prose — The Great Divorce is one of my favorite books — and this one is quickly on its way up there. I love the main character, Orual, and her…honesty. I’m only a couple of chapters into it (one of the good things of not being able to sleep until 3am is that it gives me additional reading time), but I really enjoy the style of writing that Lewis is using in this novel. For a recap of the fable that the novel is based on, Wikipedia has a pretty good summary.
In any case, this post is a bit of a downer, isn’t it? I keep on telling myself that if I run enough miles, that with enough time, that with enough writing…that something’s gotta give. That some center will form. That with enough words said aloud and written down, I will find my voice; I will find my face.
I wonder.
On the playlist:
Snow Patrol – The Finish Line
The National – Fake Empire
Coldplay – The Scientist
Matt Nathanson – Gone
Josh Ritter – The Temptation of Adam
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – Over and Over Again
That National – Ada