I fought off sleep and donned the running shoes this morning; stepping into Bluey as the sun was rising, I drove to the river. I felt the chill and the stillness of it all as I stretched to loosen my muscles, I said my prayer, and I ran.
For the first time in months, I ran with the wind, the cold, the silence, the dark, and the light. I ran without music but for the rhythm of my breathing and footsteps. And it all came back to me. The sensation of being one with your body, understanding what every step means, what every breath is saying, and how every piece works with the other. It reminded me of when, ironically, I was at my worst, but running everyday and very aware of my…self. Rather, life made sense, I made sense, when running. I could see progress, I knew what every step meant, I knew what every breath was saying, and I knew every single inch of that trail. Self aware and full of understanding, but only during that hour or two when I was running. Otherwise, I was
a mess. This time — today, tomorrow — it has to be different. And running in and of itself will not solve it. It has to be different everywhere, across the board.
***
Meet Joe Black is being offered for free on Hulu. Which is, at best, a hinderance to my getting work done this afternoon. I remember watching it when I was younger, but this time it’s somehow different. The actors do a superb job with their roles and all the story lines are very universal. Very catholic. How does that work, though? How does the same film, the same thing, have different meanings over time? Is it evolution, is it adaptation? Is it just…different? Better? Worse?