While on my first day of work, I was surfing the internet (natch) and stumbled across this gem of a quote:
There is an infinitesimal chance at the glory of forgiveness, but nobody’s asking you to forget: that’s the difference between “fixed” and “unbroken” right there. You can’t go back. But you can go forward.
Most things that we do in our lives are relatively linear and we don’t really need much thought at it: we go to school and we need to figure out majors, we stumble around for a while until we find the thing that sparks that something in us; we graduate and start to work, and, if we like our job, we keep on plugging away until we get better and climb the ladder; if we want more, then we stumble around for a while until we find the thing that sparks that something in us. Even in relationships, there is a certain degree of stumbling until that spark is found. but lately I’ve come to realize two things: (1) we need to define the spark, and (2) finding the thing that sparks something is not enough or otherwise we become fickle, so we need a rock.
Granted, these are likely things that we all should know by now and, as I wrote a long time ago, I’m simply too old to make a mess anymore…but I still do, over and over again. And until I tackle those two issues I’ll never be able to move on to the greatest question: what’s next?
The Spark
The spark is the things that inspire and move us. Our dreams, our passions, etc. Our desire for that perfect job, that perfect house, that perfect relationship…those are all sparks. However, the spark is often an undefined or a nebulous desire. And it is a dangerous and steep slope where we easily find ourselves fickle and untrue. We must know where we stand and what makes us stand in order to aim true and be capable of investing when we are ignited by the spark. We must be able to find the true sparks worth investing into and bleeding for or otherwise the fire roars brightly and passionately only to burn out soon thereafter leaving us empty, worse for the wear, and likely doomed to repeat ad infinitum.
There’s a concept that I’ve always loved in science that describes the relationship between centrifugal and centripetal force. In short, imagine yourself on those spinning “plates” on the playground, or maybe, imagine two people grabbing each other by the hands and one person spinning the other around in a circle. Two forces are relating to each other here: the centrifugal force is pushing away from the center while the centripetal force is pulling you towards the center. The centrifugal force is actually imaginary, it’s a fiction. What’s really happening is that there’s a perpendicular force on the outside party that affects their reference frame. Let go, and it all falls apart, but stay together and the spark – the balance of perspective, motion, and force – stays alive and burns and changes us into one fluid spirit.
And I think that that is what the spark should be: those two forces pushing and pulling with you in the center, spinning on the rock, while holding onto an idea, a dream, a person, and the ability to transmutate from two separate entities into one fluid spirit. That is the true spark, that is the true passion.
The Rock
At the end of the day…after the war, after the revolution…after the blood has been spilled and the tears shed…that’s an opportunity for us to define ourselves. That’s when, as the quote way above says, we have the chance for the glory of forgiveness. But forgiveness, in its fullest capacity, involves a deep and profound understanding. The word itself is an old English word, forgiefan, for meaning “completely” and geifan to “give”. To completely give, one needs to understand the sin, the sinner, and one’s own self. We need to understand in order to give. In order to understand, we need a place – a frame of reference and perspective – of our own to stand. Without the rock, we can never achieve that fluid spirit because the bonds that attract to the center will not withstand the pressures that seek to pull it apart.
It requires durability, a time measure of the ability to endure, to withstand pressure and damage. It requires strength and a composure of select and fundamental elements, but only a select few because otherwise it becomes overwhelmed and the overall stability becomes fragile and tenuous. The things/beliefs/values that make up the individual. The things we hold dear and are, therefore, true to. The keystone is the power and self-awareness required to be able to know what is held above all else. Being self aware enough so that we know what truly matters and what we can stand on. We know who we are. That is the rock. That is the dimension stone.
We must identify who we are and what we stand on, we must establish sufficient awareness to forgive, we must hold on to the things that deserve to become the fluid unified spirit. We must identify. We must transmutate. We must become the everything after.
Sublime simplicity…but that is what establishes the everything after, and, as a result, this is the only thing that matters. The next question, the next post – or perhaps the next series of posts – is an attempt to determine and filter that very question: what is the next? How to distinguish the everything after…