I have recently discovered that at some point in the past two or so years, I thought it’d be a good idea to purchase the Little Mermaid (Special Edition, natch) soundtrack. Setting aside the numerous questions that this decision raises, I’ll just pray to the masculine gods that I was drunk and that I don’t have to give them back my “man” card. (Freakin’ laminated and everything.) As with most things that I do when I’m drunk, I promptly forgot about it and passed out in my kitchen snuggling with my cat (sadly, not a euphemism). Which brings us to last week.

So there I am, visiting the lovely state of Maryland and jogging along the gorgeous C&O Canal hoping to impress some cute girl with my great pace, my strides, and my general physique of Adonis. (Confession: I may have been wheezing, sweaty, and walking at this point in time.) All of the sudden, my ipod starts playing a rock ballad and the lyrics begin with “There, you see her/Sitting there across the way/She don’t got a lot to say/But there’s something about her….” It informs me that if I wait too long I’m going to “miss the girl”.

I pause. What is this proclamation to chance-taking that is soothing my ears? Apparently the soundtrack has been revived and the special edition contains two audible gems: 1) Ashley Tisdale singing ‘Kiss the Girl’ and 2) the Jonas Brothers singing a heavyish metal version of ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’. Sadly, these are currently my two favorite songs ever right now and I listen to them at least twice a day.

Time to go off and return my man card.