Well, classes start tomorrow and in the past two days of studying, I’ve already said that I hate law school at least 4 times. So far so good.
On the docket this fall are five — count them, five — classes.

  • Criminal Procedure (How to become a Criminal and still love yourself)
  • ConLaw (Either a study in the Constitution or how to trick old ladies into giving you their savings)
  • AdminLaw (If you fail out of school, how to become an admin assistant and still love yourself)
  • Evidence (How to hide the body and never get caught)
  • Intellectual Property (How to feel a little bad when you download those mp3s and movies for free)

The 1Ls have moved into the library (and my study spot). I’m not gonna lie, I feel pretty bad for them. I remember being optimistic and happy my first week of school. “Oh! We get to discuss policy! Oh! We’re going to learn so much! Oh! The intelligent debates we’ll have!” Not so much. Policy discussions blow because a) policy will never show up on the final and b) it ends up being your opinion — which is, well, nothing more than your opinion and your concept of what “fair” is. And, much like most dreams we tell to other people, no one really cares that much.

As far as the learning so much…I guess I think we would learn more about the law if the finals system weren’t structured the way it was. In a nutshell, we have all our finals over about two weeks (finals fortnight). Every other day is a final exam that is worth 100% of our grade for the class. This results in memorization and drilling. Neither of those things assist long-term retention. Add that to the fact that right after your exam you need to immediately switch gears and start memorizing and drilling for the next class? Yeah, I knew what a contract was for about a week and then promptly forgot it and moved onto the Erie Doctrine. (Side note: I was talking to a friend yesterday and we brought up the Erie Doctrine. All I remember is that State rules apply to either substantive or to procedural laws/rules when in Federal court. I’m pretty sure that distinguishing between procedural and substantive law is pretty important to that analysis. Oh, and I totally got an A in this class. Good job, law school.)

And as far as intelligent debates go…well. Let’s just say that I can’t believe some of these people may actually be allowed to practice law one of these days.

To the 1Ls: best of luck, you’ll need it. Goodbye ego, hello borderline alcoholism. And stop stealing my seat.

—12minds the 2L