This semester I’m taking ConLaw, AdminLaw, and CrimPro…in other words, I should have the Constitution memorized come finals time. During ConLaw, we’ve been making lots of tangential references to the Judiciary Act of 1789. (Also passed in 1789? Congress’ implicit endorsement of the power of the President to remove executive officials. So important was this decision that it was then known as “the decision of 1789.” Which really sounds a lot less fun than my own personal story of “The Flaming Panda Incident of 2006”.)
In any case, our ConLaw cases (notably Marbury v. Madison and Ex Parte McCardle) make lots of references to the Act as if it’s important or something, so I go about researching it. Turns out that it was enacted on September 24, 1789, it established the “inferior” federal courts, set up some additional appellate jurisdiction (including writs of mandamus!), and created the office of the Attorney General.
Hopefully I was drunk when I did this, but it turns out that I actually wrote down the Judiciary Act’s birthday on my Google calendar’s “birthday section”. So, yeah, September birthdays go as follows:
Alicson, Gina P, The Judiciary Act, Emily F.
As if my social awkwardness in and of itself wasn’t enough of a problem for me in my goal to one day speak to a pretty girl without making an idiot out of myself (so far I’m 2 for 328,942), now I have the immeasurable handicap of legal knowledge to deal with.
I’m never going to kiss a girl again, am I?