While I tend to consider myself pretty open-minded, you know what I’ll never be ok with? Pants and shorts with animal prints (or “critters” in jcrew-speak) on them. Unless you’re a billionaire hedge fund trader in Greenwich, there’s just no excuse…and even there, I’ll tolerate it because it’s likely that you’re on the boat that you own and you’re serving me great wine.

Also, don’t image google “animal print shorts” at a public computer…that was an unfortunate and very awkward experience.